Rape and objectification of sex and sexuality

An update by a writer I regard highly sparked thoughts that have lied unspoken in me for a long time. In the intriguing update, he says that in his younger life, he would have gone ahead and had sex with a woman who aroused him then denied him sex. That is what caught my attention. Why would a young boy consider it a big favour to have sex with a female human? The society we have grown in has conditioned us that men are hungry beasts who should have sex at any chance they get while the dignity of choosing has been left to women. The women, on the other hand, have been tuned to the conditioning that what they have are valuable goods that any man should work for to get. Someone might argue that it is natural instinct. I beg to differ. The conditioning starts early when a girl is cautioned to preserve her virginity till marriage while the boy is advised to scatter as many seeds as he can. It, therefore does not come as a surprise when in later encounters, it is a privilege for a man to have sex while the woman chooses to give it ‘unwillingly’. Of course, setting a high price on sex for one of the party’s involved has led to the carnal thrill of the chase game, but that too has come with its negatives with the ugliest being rape.
In my opinion, the end of rape cannot be achieved through merging of the fashion industry with the jua kali industry and create a metallic underwear. After all, hungry men would still use metallic drills to get their valued prize. Neither would I suggest longer jail terms or stiffer penalties. The best we can do is to change our thinking and perception of sex as gold owned by women and sought after by men. A better view of sex in the society would be something shared and enjoyed by any number of people through mutual consent, just like sharing a plate of food. Sex is considered very important in the society since it leads to the procreation of a new generation. But so does eating food and all other activities. We could not breed new generations if we never ate.
I compare rape to theft of objects. The price on the object has been set very high such that other humans are bound to be tempted and be thieves. If we wanted to end corruption, theft and other forms of social ills in the world, the best we can do is to reduce the value we place on material things. Similarly, the same goes for sexual behaviour too. Stopping of female objectification is a task for both genders. The freedom of women to wear what they wish cannot and should not be restricted. But neither should it be used as a method of attracting men. Objectification begins with a woman when she starts to seek opinions on how she has worn. She is likely to frown when you do not look her way and hide her goodies when you ogle at them. In this way, she reduces herself to an object that can only gain value in the eyes of others. Thus, some of the objects are likely to be highly priced and others lowly priced. This should not be taken as a justification for rape. I abhor the whole idea of forcing someone to engage in an activity against his or her will. Rape is the extreme of objectification culture that forces someone to own the object at whatever cost. It does not make sense to prune the branches while the evil tree still stands in a pool of fertilizer and manure.

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